You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
