So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
