Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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