Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
