just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
