they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
