I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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