Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
