Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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