who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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