why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
