he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
