I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
