you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
