watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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