I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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