It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
