i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
