you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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