Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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