Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
