I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
