Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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