what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
