Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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