So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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