dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
