Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
