At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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