somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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