"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
