I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
