new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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