ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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