so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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