so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
