I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
