I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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