i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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