if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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