Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
