She announced her abortion via fbk
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
