i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize