Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
