i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
