Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didn't notice because vodka
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
