i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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