And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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