Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
