I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
