He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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