Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
