remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
