I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
my poor anus
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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