How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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