I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
