I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
